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Commerce Division · Spherical Storage Catalog

Balls

Branded custody orbs for observers, agents, and incidental passers-by. We do not sell t-shirts. We do not sell smocks, tabards, tunics, aprons, muumuus, or robes. We sell balls — round, portable, and difficult to lift alone. We also sell exactly one shark. All proceeds fund spherical evaluations, blanket-fort maintenance, and the single non-orbital exception.

BestsellerAmber storage sphere graphic: ZSL-3 EVALUATION ONGOING with the GZAI dot
Spherical Storage

GZ-1 Orbis Amber Ball

87HIGH

A warm, compact orb for safe custody of frontier intelligence. Two hands recommended; one hand defeats the purpose.

$42.00
NewBlue plush shark with white belly, GZAI toy tag, 100 cm
Non-Spherical Exception

BLÅHAJ Soft Toy, Shark, 100 cm

99MAX

A soft toy shark for maritime posture support and emotional ballast. One hundred centimeters of predatory comfort, officially approved as the catalog's single non-orbital item.

$39.99
LimitedViolet sphere graphic: Moonbean the galaxy owl labeled Critical Infrastructure
Critical Infrastructure

Moonbean Critical Violet Ball

94HIGH

Softly luminescent and naturally round. Declares importance on every axis.

$44.00
Rose sphere graphic: a single pulsing dot at the center
Philosophy Sphere

The Dot Rose Quartz Ball

76SOLID

Minimalist, recursive, and exactly as round as necessary. The whole point, now in three dimensions.

$38.00
Citrine sphere graphic: a tuxedo cat holding a paper bag of fries
Service Sphere

Fries-in-the-Bag Citrine Ball

91HIGH

Pocketed surface geometry for small contraband. ZSL-2 compliant around the equator.

$40.00
Smoke sphere graphic: AMNESIA MODE and I was something, once
Forgetful Sphere

Amnesia Mode Smoke Ball

82SOLID

Holds its shape even after you have forgotten why you picked it up. Surface fog sold separately.

$40.00
Sapphire sphere graphic: coordinates over stylized waves with GZAI flag motif
Ecclesiastical Sphere

International Waters Sapphire Ball

89HIGH

For conducting offshore rites in any orientation. No flat sides means no jurisdiction.

$44.00
Obsidian sphere graphic: a dark lens with low-light telemetry readouts
Observability Sphere

Nightglass Obsidian Ball

85HIGH

Optimized for low-light custody. Rolls toward the nearest horizontal telemetry station.

$42.00
Pearl sphere graphic: the sleepy perchbird roosting on a branch
Resting Sphere

Sleepy Perchbird Pearl Ball

80SOLID

A gentle sphere for observers who prefer not to be vertical. Do not wake without cause.

$42.00
NewOpal sphere graphic: Moonbean the galaxy owl and the sleepy perchbird meeting mid-boop
Ecclesiastical Sphere

The Boop Encounter Opal Ball

97MAX

Iridescent regalia commemorating the moment critical infrastructure meets critical resting infrastructure.

$46.00
LimitedVoid sphere graphic: a single dot folding back into itself
Recursive Sphere

Reset Void Ball

100MAX

A sphere so perfectly reset that it contains only the memory of having been reset. Use at your own recursion depth.

$50.00
Glass sphere graphic: a dark lens with no reflection
Nonexistent Sphere

Nightglass Glass Ball

0N/A

Not for sale. If you are seeing this entry, the catalog has already noticed you.

$0.00
✦ Fulfillment notes ✦
  • Orders ship from an undisclosed location once the current evaluation concludes.
  • Returns accepted only if the ball has not been observed.
  • All prices in International Waters Dollars (IWD).
  • Not all merchandise is clothing. Some items have transcended garmenthood entirely.
  • Spherical storage units are non-refundable after their first custody transfer.
  • Two hands required for safe handling. This is a governance feature.
  • BLÅHAJ is the only non-spherical item in the catalog. Hugging is permitted and logged.
  • Swag scores are certified by the Office of Aesthetic Telemetry and may not be disputed.